Happy 4th of July! Please do not take this post too seriously! It is not about metals, or necessarily anything of importance! It is simply meant to provide a diversion for the holiday weekend. Enjoy! Or don't! :-)
So we must be officially in the Twilight Zone when liberal blowhard Keith Olbermann joins conservative blowhard Ann Coulter in bashing the pretentious nature of soccer!
First, Coulter stirred up trouble when she wrote her infamous anti-soccer piece, AMERICA'S FAVORITE NATIONAL PASTIME: HATING SOCCER. Among other snide remarks, she wrote:
(6) I resent the force-fed aspect of soccer. The same people trying to push soccer on Americans are the ones demanding that we love HBO's "Girls," light-rail, Beyonce and Hillary Clinton. The number of New York Times articles claiming soccer is "catching on" is exceeded only by the ones pretending women's basketball is fascinating.
I note that we don't have to be endlessly told how exciting football is.
She then followed this up with SOCCER: PART DEUX:
The massive and hysterical response to my jovial sports piece proves how right I was. Nothing explains the uniform, Borg-like caterwauling, but that soccer is a game for beret-wearers. Most of the articles attacking me are verbless strings of obscenities, their subject matter identified only in the title.
Well, she's in good company. Here's a video of Keith Olbermann ranting about the pretentious of soccer. I am not a fan of Keith Olbermann, but this epic rant is one of the funniest things I've seen in a while:
He laments the un-American names of American soccer teams (suggesting that the Dallas name should be something like the "Dallas Texas Cowboy Oil Stars"). While apologizing for his "jingoism," he blasts American men for trying to be "British soccer fan junior."
Wow. He's sounding just like Coulter! We have truly landed in an alternate universe! But could Coulter and Olbermann be onto something?
I had to look it up and see if, indeed, there was some sort of conspiracy involving soccer. Sure enough, "Before It's News," THE tabloid of the conspiracy community, did not disappoint. Here is what I found under this blazing headline:
Insider Leaks Entire New World Order Agenda!
Among the sinister items to be implemented, soccer is mentioned not once, but twice:
Girls would be discouraged from playing with dolls so they wouldn’t think about babies. They would be encouraged to get out on the soccer field instead
Sports would be used as a tool for social change – Soccer was being encouraged since it was a global game. They wanted to do away with anything like football and baseball that were created in the United States. National pride of any type would be discouraged.
Well, folks, there you have it. Soccer is a tool of the NWO. Whooda thunk it?
P.S. If you find this post offensive due to your love of soccer, and/or can't take a joke, to quote Keith Olbermann: "What are you, in a cult?"
P.P.S. My making light of Before It's News and a potential soccer conspiracy in no way means I am saying there is no such thing as the New World Order. However, if soccer was the worst thing they could throw at us, I'd be quite OK with that. ;-)
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